Embracing Your Inner Slut By: Vikki Vik

Hi, my name is Vikki and I’m a professional Slut. You may be thinking to yourself, “wow what a derogatory way to present yourself” Or “damn, I wish I was that brave.” Or maybe even “who’s this girl, I want some of that.” Do you want to know what all of those thoughts have in common? None of them are about me! They are your feelings in direct reflection to your association with the word slut. It could also be your feelings about being a professional slut, slutiness or deeper feelings concerning sex in general. No matter the case they are your feelings unrelated to me. Other people’s feelings about me being a “slut” don't have anything to do with me! This is part of the process I used to arrive in a space where I can proudly call myself a Slut and a professional one at that, but it wasn’t always like this for me. So Let’s backtrack a bit, shall we?

Hi, my name is Kerri and I’m from Raleigh, NC. I grew up in a southern Baptist family; I was raised going to church every Sunday morning and often times on Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, and some Tuesdays. I was in youth group, at one point in time choir, and went on many church trips. My parents were divorced when I was very young and I grew up full-time with my mother. She worked mostly so there were many nannys and not all of them healthy influences on me or my body image (I developed eating disorders and unhealthy body image issues partly as a result). I was a dancer and a gymnast on top of that so those things can also come with the territory. I was a very pretty girl and my aura drew a lot of attention; lots of it unwanted. I was also very sensitive and could pick up on energies around me and knew that many onlookers didn’t have the purist of intentions. However I was also very sheltered and protected as a child and because of the religious background and the fear my parents had for me I wound up very naïve.

This naiveté caused me to end up in situations that I didn’t know how to necessarily navigate. To say that I was forced to grow up quickly would be an understatement.

I was a naturally flirty girl, organically sexually curious and expressed a lot of this energy through fashion, which also led me to my first ever slut-shaming experience: I was deemed a slut by my churches congregation! There were rumors passed around about me in a space that I devoted my time and energy to. This was supposed to be a safe space, yet I felt so much judgment. My pastor ended up calling my family and personally apologizing for his staff and members of the church for the stress it must have put on me. The effects of that left me with a scar: it wasn’t necessarily those words, but the energy behind them. Almost every single person reading this has a story of shame: where they felt shame in their body for the first time, where they were young and wronged for just expressing themselves, or being curious or just BEING. At that time, I didn’t even really know what a slut was, I had to look it up.

So what is a slut?

Miriam-Webster version: a promiscuous woman; a woman who has many sexual partners. So the thing is, I wasn’t sexually active at that time in my life. I was curious, sure what teenager isn’t? I was different, unique, didn’t express myself like everyone else and asked too many questions. Eventually those questions and my own curiosity lead me away from the church, to look in other places for answers and support.

My years have been colored with experiences. My life is like a series of beautifully choreographed performance art pieces where I am the star. Its been tragic and painfully stunning. One of my first girlfriends allowed me to understand this final truth about myself and I got a tattoo that represents my sexual freedom. I knew early on that it was a theme that was incredibly important to my life and my mission and my understanding that SLUT for me was a word of power and not pain. That I had a choice in how I saw this thing that I organically expressed! That truth came after many sexually traumatic experiences that should have left me down for the count but instead t instilled this part of me that wanted to find its voice. I used this pain in my life and the trauma to propel me forward. I lost my way with boundaries, and I had many experiences that crossed them because I didn’t know how to say no. I wasn’t taught anything about sex or how to engage in it so I just sort of put myself through as many experiences as I could to find my voice. I did this as a way to rebel against what I was told I couldn’t have and as a way to have control over that part of myself; proving to be in control of what I allowed to be felt was really empowering for me. I eventually found a therapist after a series of relationship-hopping and many toxic attempts at something healthy and started learning more about myself and better ways to embrace and navigate this energy.

So How can you Embrace Your Inner Slut?

Let’s start with what your definition to the word is! How does this word feel in your body? To me, I understand that my inner slut is MY OWN. It is my relationship with me and my own self-expression of my sexuality. To me Slut is a well sexed human! A slut is an accomplishment! A slut is someone who does not care about popular opinion and embraces their truest nature. A slut is bold, daring, courageous, charismatic, enigmatic, sensual, self-expressed and most importantly comfortable with their complex sexual nature! We are all sexual beings. We all arrived in this place generally the same way, two people had sex and tada! 9 months later you popped out. We all are also built to experience sex and sexual pleasure. Whatever trauma you have CAN be worked on and worked out and worked through! REMEMBER that nothing others think about you is about you! (thank you Don Miguel Ruiz and the Four Agreements). This can help tremendously when embracing your inner slut. Try to let go of outside judgment and stay true to yourself! Get comfortable in your body! All of my trauma led me to have a better relationship to myself. I realized my diet was a relationship to myself and my sex: a direct reflection of how I felt about myself! Your sexuality is a relationship you have with yourself first and then something you get to share with others! If you aren’t comfortable in your skin you’re not going to be comfortable in your sex! Start with lots of self-love, less judgment of yourself, and freedom of expression. I also really love employing the use of mantras into daily practice. When I am in a situation where I start judging myself, my go to is “I am beauty I am love”. This helps me to think positive thoughts when my brain is playing tricks on me. Dancing and adding movement as a regular practice helps if you aren’t already doing so; dropping into the body is an amazing way to tap into that inner sexual-self. Honor your curiosity like you would a child’s. Let’s get real, most folks are operating from a sexual education based off of porn. So let go and allow yourself the curiosity! Read up on how to pleasure yourself in 69 different ways, then read up on how to do the same for a pleasure partner, why not!? Find people you trust and explore with them! Discuss your boundaries, fears and desires and allow yourself the space to be sexual without attachments, to be sexual just because you are and you get to receive and give pleasure in your experience here and now in this time in your life. Get in touch with your inner guide, this will help you to trust your intuition and choice in partner and experiences. Take responsibility for your sexual health. Get tested, wear protection, and have partners that you can discuss these things with. Part of understanding and owning your inner slut is knowing that you have a social responsibility to yourself and others. This will also make you feel more secure and confident when going into new experiences as well as helping to lift the taboos associated with STIs and STDs. If more people start engaging, then more people will have healthy sexually explorative experiences of Embracing their inner sluts! Have a better understanding of yourself, buy the toys and try them out, buy the lingerie you’ve been eyeballing, even if it’s just for yourself. Sign up for the sensual domination class, take the blow job 101 workshop! Try new positions, sex in public, join the mile high club, ask for the check early when you feel the temperature rising in the restaurant at dinner, and I don’t mean from the kitchen! Let go of the idea of slut you’ve been sold all of your life. Embrace a new enjoyable meaning for the word. Allow yourself to see embracing this part of yourself as an empowering feat, because the truth is, it is! There I so much oppression and suppression of sex and sexuality in many cultures across many nations worldwide.

I arrived at this place in my life where I am proud to have been promiscuous. Where I see my sexuality and the ease of it a true power and gift to share with the world. I have come to a space where I Get to teach others about their sexuality and how to embrace it. I get to allow magical experiences in and out of my life because I do it from a place of honor and respect, first and foremost with myself and that’s something I get to share with others. Sexual energy is the most powerful energy on the planet: it is creation energy, the same energy that creates life. It is something to cherish and express. It is something powerful and pleasure-filled and here for us to enjoy! I took my first offense of slut-shaming and I used it to empower others! I took the power back from that word and I created workshop out of it. I discovered that my “slutty side” early on was a true gift and I kept it safe. Here's where you begin to embrace yours!

IG : @Vikerrious

Website: https://www.vikerrious.com