002: Fervor Friday With Elena of The Yoni Empire

My loves it’s a real honor on this Fervor Friday to bring you the goddess of pleasure Elena of The Yoni Empire If you are looking for pleasure look no further, Elena is not only in touch with her pleasure but exudes the very essence of what it is to be a sensual goddess in this day and age. I have been following Elean’s works via Instagram for quite some time, and her work is truly powerful, passionate and orgasmic. Her mission is simple but bold PLEASURE for all! So take a seat, unwind and get to know this extraordinary woman.

Elena is the creator & author of the famous sexuality blog The Yoni Empire & Co-Founder of Onna Lifestyle pleasure brand. She is a slow sex educator and writer, lover of all things pleasure-related. She healed an 8 year chronic yoni pain ever since has been writing shamelessly about female sexuality and eroticism, supporting women with overcoming sexual triggers, insecurities and trauma. She is on a mission to nourish women, one orgasm at a time - connecting heart, body and mind. Follow her at @the_yoni_empire & @onna_lifestyle.

• Elena, can you please tell us about yourself?

I like sex and papaya.

I enjoy midnight walks to the fridge.

I believe that we are all severely sensually and sexually malnourished.

My life calling is to support people in expanding their eroticism and nourishing their sexuality and sensuality. My job is to nurture through knowledge. I am a Pleasure Cheerleader!

• Goddess can you tell us a little about your upbringings and your life in Russia? Was it difficult to express your sexuality in Russia?

I was born in Soviet Russia back in the 80’s where sexuality was completely repressed. Like most women I was socially constructed to grow up into a woman whose main concerns in life are her looks, her husband and children. However, ever since my childhood I have been secretly fascinated by sexuality, intuitively feeling that there is more to it that what I see. Only in my mid twenties did I finally gather up the courage to follow, what is today, my life’s calling - supporting people to step out of restrictive sexual societal norms and into a world of pleasure and sexual nourishment and support.

• Elena, you often share your journey with overcoming vaginitis with your audience, Vaginitis is a subject that woman rarely speak of amongst each other as it is somewhat portrayed as a dirty secret, could you educate us on what vaginitis is and how you healed yourself?

I got vaginismus back in my early 20’s and it took me 6 years of pointlessly struggling through doctors to properly diagnose it. No medical doctor could heal it. Eventually, I took matters into my own hands and healed myself through alternative medicine, yoni massage and a whole new approach to sex.

When a woman has vaginismus, her vagina's muscles spasm when something is entering it whether during sex or even tampon insertion. It is extremely painful. Many women experience some form of vaginismus throughout their life. I see vaginismus as a form of female impotence. It is a dark shameful secret - your mind wants to have sex yet your body is not cooperating. It is a psychosomatic issue which must be treated holistically - dealing with both the mental fear and physical muscle tension.

I often share my story of struggle and healing. Many women tend to assume that I was born multi-orgasmic and that it is something only available to me. By sharing my story, I educate women that we ALL have the potential to experience epic sex and joy. Today, I work with women with chronic yoni pain through skype sessions and pelvic floor tension release massage sessions.

My experience was also the inspiration behind creating the self-massage CURVE toy for my brand Onna Lifestyle. Both my business partner Adela and I are dedicated to supporting women out of yoni pain and into pleasure.

• How would you define yourself and what purpose inspires you?

I feel that most people struggle with their sexuality because they aren’t allowing themselves to fully experience what their heart and body desire. We are stuck in so much shame, repression and judgement. We feel alone in our kinks. Humans are sensually and sexually starving. We struggle with physical pain. We stay in relationships with incompatible lovers. I see how much of our sexuality and eroticism is intertwined with he rest of our life. When our sexuality is out of balance, it affects the rest of our life aspects.

My life purpose is to support people to align their sexuality with their true heart’s desire - to have the courage to express and experience their authentic sexual selves.

• What does sexual empowerment mean to you? Moreover, how do you believe sex educators can empower others to find their sexual authenticity?

Sexual empowerment is a hot topic these days. There is a lot of talk about things like - slut walks, free the nipple campaigns, ethical promiscuity, body positivity, polyamory, choosing your own gender or posting naked selfies on the internet. I’m different in my approach.

For me, sexual empowerment is about experiencing pleasure from the sexual decisions that I make. It is about surrounding myself with people around whom I feel safe expressing who I truly am sexually. It is nourishing my sensuality and my physical body on a daily basis. My sexual empowerment is about FEELING - feeling with my body and heart.

When I work with women, it does not matter to me whom they sleep with, how or what they look like. Whether you choose to make love with only one man for the rest of your life or fuck tinder guys or set up camp in your girlfriend’s vagina or take a bi-annual fuck fest trip to Milan is none of my business. Your pleasure is YOUR BUSINESS.

My job is to support you in aligning your actions with your true heart’s desires so you can experience joy and nourishment. The truth is that most of us are starving even if we are having sex often.

• Elena on a day to day bases your message is strong, and we are listening to your pleasure statement, why do you feel self-pleasure is essential?

The most important sexual relationship you will have in your life is with YOURSELF. How can we expect a lover to pleasure us if we do not know what gives us pleasure?

No one teaches us how to touch ourselves. We must find out for ourselves - through self-pleasuring practices, self-pampering, self-love & genuine curiosity. By journeying into your own eroticism, your fantasies, desires and (literally) playing with yourself, you are able to share your findings with your partners and thus, enrich your sex life.

Most women are sitting around waiting for Prince/ess charming to arrive on a white horse and make them orgasm. Orgasm happens in your body and your brain. Therefore it is experienced by YOU. No one can make a woman orgasm. A woman will consciously and unconsciously decide when her body is ready to surrender and open to an orgasmic experience. Therefore it is your responsibility to work through sexual trauma, triggers, restrictive core beliefs and train your body to respond positively to touch.

• Can you tell us what slow sex means for you, and how has the act of slow sex changed your life?

Nowadays, our lives are mostly in our minds. We talk, discuss, gossip, write, message, blog. We are on our phones, computers, televisions, ipads. We are completely disconnected from our bodies. Our sexuality has also moved from our body to our mind. We sleep with people because we THINK we should or want to. We THINK our way to arousal with fantasy. We THINK our way to orgasm. Even during sex we are still THINKING.

THINKING disconnects us from FEELING our body. And our pleasure lives in our BODY.

Thats why most of us require hard-core stimulation of visual pornography, fantasies, or extreme vibrating toys in order to orgasm. We’ve desensitised our bodies. In an effort to orgasm, our movements become faster, harder, more aggressive and more unconscious. We are so determined to force an orgasm that we forget to enjoy the present moment and the pleasure.

Slow sex is simply a type of sex where you relax into FEELING your body and the experience. Slowing down leads to increased awareness, body sensitivity and psychological openness - all of which create the perfect environment for your body to orgasm. By practicing slow sex & pleasure, you realise that orgasm is not something someone gives you. It is something that your body opens up to and experiences on its own. In slow sex, orgasm is not the goal. Pleasure is.

It is healing and blissfully orgasmic for both men and women. In slow sex practice, lovers can still be wild, adventurous and rough but they feel this in their bodies, not the mind.

My main advice to everyone is forget the orgasm. Concentrate on the PLEASURE. Slow down and feel into every small movement, every kiss, every breath, every touch between you and your lover or on your own. Its the journey. Not the destination. Every cell in our body is orgasmic. You just gotta pay attention.

• Elena, I’ve often seen you bring up the subject of kink, could you share with us the kinkiest thing you have experienced?

You naughty minx, I wont share that. But I can show you…call me :)))

• What intrigues you about kink and what would you love to explore?

Remember being playful and limitless in your imagination as a child? Kink for me is the same playfulness, only as adults. By allowing yourself to explore various kinds of sexual expressions - “games” - you nurture your inner child. Playfulness is healing for the heart and soul - whether sexual or not. I’m always down to try something new. You never know how your body will react to something. I gift myself the permission to explore with genuine curiosity.

• What inspired you to start Onna Lifestyle?

I launched the brand together with my business partner Adela. For me, the idea of Onna came about as I dived deep into the yoni massage practice after seeing the benefits of it on women that I work with. I craved to create the perfect tool to assist women during self-massage.

While a vibrator will make you orgasm in under 5 minutes, a non-vibrating toy will gift you hours of pleasure waves in your body and exploration of new orgasm abilities. Non-vibrating toys simply take you FURTHER in your pleasure/orgasm potential. With our Onna toys, a woman is able to relieve tension in the yoni, explore pleasurable penetration, tap into her Gspot & so much more!

I choose to work with gemstones because they are the perfect mix of natural material & minimalist luxury. Their polished smooth surface allows for effortless glide and penetration. Also, gemstones are natural heat conductors. They quickly adapt to internal body temperature and retain pleasurable warmth for a long time.

Our Onna toys are certified by an EU Gemology Institute for being 100% natural, carved from one solid slab of gemstone and never glued, never artificially colored. Our prices reflect that. Unfortunatley there are a lot of fakes on the market. Our toys are non-toxic, vegan, waterproof, safe to use with lubricant, body oil & condoms.

My gift to you is a 10% discount YONI on any of your purchases at my Onna Lifestyle store.

• What is your favorite product in the Onna lifestyle line? Which would you recommend for beginners and why?

Our custom-designed shape is the CURVE toy. The thinner end of the Curve is crafted for internal massage to relieve muscle tension. The thicker end of the toy is perfect for G-spot re-awakening. (Most women’s Gspots are sleeping!) Our CURVE is the skinniest of the toys so she’s perfect for beginners. Used as a weekly practice, CURVE is the best tool for a toned and healthy yoni as well as yummy orgasms. I also run Skype sessions with women who would like to learn how to properly use the toy for maximum benefit.

My personal favorite at the moment is the RAVEN PEARL. She’s perfect for the Gspot tapping and windshield swipe motions. Yummy!

• Do you have any advice for females on how to utilize their sexual energy?

1. Accept that you are a sexual woman and that your desires, kinks, fantasies are all valid. Women wilt without sexual nourishment. We are meant to be adored, touched, kissed and made love-to.

2. Nurture your own sensuality and sexuality on a daily basis. Create sensual/sexual practices for yourself which become daily enjoyable habits.

3. Find like-minded people with whom you feel free and supported to express your sexuality whether you are intimate with them or not.

4. PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!

• What advice would you give to those that need to heal sexual trauma?

Do it as soon as possible and find a professional to guide you. Sometimes we need support. Every day that you are living in fear, shame, disgust & trauma is wasted and is potentially keeping you from being happy. We only get one life. Don’t take it for granted.

• What are some of the health benefits of using toys made of crystals versus the popular silicon toy?

Many people advertise gemstone toys for their “crystal healing energy”. I roll my eyes each time I read a fluffy marketing blurb about how placing a crystal dildo inside will bring you “love and abundance”.

As a person who works with the physical and mental body, I have a different approach. Here are my top ten non-spiritual reasons why I like gemstone sex toys.

• Elena thank you for sharing your time and energy with us where can the Kinktra lovers find you?

You can find me on the @the_yoni_empire or @onna_lifestyle instagrams.

Also, my Onna partner Adela and I have a popular PLEASURE MONDAYS newsletter which we send out every week with 5-bullet pleasure ideas - articles, products, movies, music, events, sex toys, etc. We keep it short, useful & beautiful. You can sign up on the Onna Lifestyle homepage at www.onnalifestyle.com

With so much tenderness, Elena aka The Yoni Empire